Finger's Mudra

Sometimes you feel like dying, but you can't. Sometimes ou feel like you could. But you won't. Here a poem for those days. You can listen to the poem on YouTube.

Finger's Mudra

Today I woke up		Today I woke up
with the lips of my luscious pussy		with the lips of your delicious pussy
clutched tight around your delicious dick		clutched tight around my luscious dick
and I felt whole again		and I felt whole again
	I will never be whole again
Damn		Fuck
I miss you		I miss you
I miss you so so much		I miss you so so much
so very much		so very much
that even my own fingers betray me		that even my own fingers betray me
in my sleep		in my sleep
inside my flesh		around my flesh
that roams around		that roams around
deprived of the warmth		deprived of the warmth
of your soft body		of your firm body
	I will never be whole again
and I suck my own tongue		and I suck my own lips
in remembrance of you		in remembrance of you
where I once found your breath		where I once found your breath
there is only mine left		there is only mine left
	I will never be whole again
Not all the dicks in this world	Not all the bodies in this world	Not all the pussies in this world
will save me from ourselves	will save us from ourselves	will save me from ourselves
from my amputated self	from our amputated self	from my amputated self
	our communion broken
not	forsaken	not
	our union destroyed
	in a dissonant frenzy
in this body	the throne of the self,	in this body
this body holding me	the negation of harmony	this body holding me
this amputated body	destruction	this amputated body
decaying	leaving our bones scattered	decaying
dying a different death every single night	reduced to their mortal shape	dying the same death every single night
just to find myself alive	a reminder we are alone	just to find myself alive
resurrected again	in these bodies	resurrected again
weary		weary
and I long for rest		and longing for rest
Every time I close my eyes	All of my songs	Every time I close my eyes
I hope to find us there	are your songs	I hope to find us there
whole	-dying cries-	whole
as one	the same song	as one
primigenial	I carry with me	transcendent
whole in our own right	into sleep eternal	light of our own holiness
My being is transient		My being is transient
but I keep coming back		but I keep coming back
every accursed morning	Every inch of my body	every accursed morning
I come back	smells of your body	I come back
with all our past fucks carved	for we were one	with all our caresses burnt
on my skin	single	on my skin
a memory	point of failure	a memory
like myself		like myself
every time a little tinier		every time a little tinier
more a shadow of ourselves		more a shadow of ourselves
and I keep coming back		and I keep coming back
a bit emptier every time		a bit emptier every time
my fingers broken		my fingers broken
my blood dry		my blood dry
waiting for the moment		waiting for the moment
when you finally let me die		when you finally let me die
	I wish my death sentence
	will come true
	this time
And I know not all the love	Left alone	And I know not all the fucks
in this world will save me	to deal with us	in this world will save me
from myself	in solitude	from myself
I can’t		I can’t
and I keep hoping		and I keep hoping
that we die holding hands
	Always	that we die
		holding hands
and I can’t but keep hoping		and I can’t but keep hoping
next time we die		next time we die
holding hands		holding hands
	Always